Between the Dark and the Light Volume 1 is one of the greatest books of the 21 century. It is written so well that you feel like you are actually in the book. The illustrations are so amazing you can almost see them move. You can never guess what is going to happen. When you think they are finally safe a sea monster destroys their boat. When giant carnivorous trees are about to eat them, the trees protect them. Mrs. Russell held nothing back. The book is so exiting, you just can’t put it down. –Brian B., Age 11
From My Inkpop.com Profile the following comments have been made on my MS:
C. D. Verhoff, adult
There are a lot of good things going on here. The way you opened right in the middle of things, with Falandi’s vision of her brother being burned, made for a gripping opener. It was kind of refreshing to have her parents not doubt her visions, because the norm in these kinds of stories is to have everyone think the main character is crazy (my own book, for example, George’s family thinks he’s losing his mind). “Mind the signs,” is a mysterious catch-phrase. Plus, the three leather clad dragon punks, the way they seem to be hunting down Falandi’s family members, adds a lot of suspense. Your prose is fluid, so not complaints about your writing style there.
Anyway, I like this steampunk world you’ve created. I adore Falandi for being so vulnerable, grief-stricken, confused, worried and loving. She’s so human and weak–she’s going to make an awesome heroine, one every reader will root for. You’re off to a great start. Good luck with this.
isabella2296, age 13
The place you chose to start was really great! It completely hooked me and dragged me🙂 Your writing style is incredible as well and I love the tone you’ve created for the story, not to mention the spectacular characters! They all feel so real, especially Falandi.
Evie J, teen
Ooo! I really like it! I only read the first 2 chapters, but I’ll be back to read more. Very well written and I’m dragged in!🙂 Great job!
Really great story you have here! Fast-paced, lovable characters, intriguing plot, and I like what your story is about. You don’t find many like it. =D
You did an amazing job with the narration. I really like Falandi, and I like the interesting names you picked for the characters. I like the interesting and original concept, and what I love the most was that I did not see many, if any, grammatical errors.
johbai, age 40
Interesting so far…I’m curious to see where this goes. There are some points that to me so far may need some explaining down the line (just my opinion); but I’m going to wait and see what you write further into the story – for all I know now, you might have them already answered.
I’m enjoying it so far…there’s a good bonding so far between Falandi and Michael (with room to grow I believe). I’m also curious to see how Ralph’s character progresses (is he the Obi One Kenobi of Impirius?) and (forgive me if I misspell her name – or misspell for that matter LOL) Mintau’s role as the next selected child warrior.
Let me know when you post more.
Take care. Talk later.
cara_ruegg, age 18
dude this is such a badass read. how clever! It is so intense. Your characterization is superb and so is the plot and story in general. great stuff. going on my picks.
!books!, age 13
Nice job! You caught my attention right away. I love your creativity and your detail. Originality is one of the things I absolutely love in books.
Charles Pendelton, adult
Wow, you are some writer! Everything in the story is perfectly in balance. There are no grammatical errors and the editing
speaks for itself! I can tell you have been writing for some time now. I couldn’t find a problem with this if I tried!
*I will now add this to my picks!*
The vision that opens the story immediately provides the reader with a tension-filled few moments, as the family desperately wonders whether Falandi’s ‘sight’ will come true or not.
I liked the passage where Falandi is pondering the fate of her brother’s soul. I think YA readers will be able to identify with these questions – as a teacher who’s done a fair number of junior high religion classes, I’ve experienced this curiosity – and this will definitely help to endear them to your work.
The description of the sinister-looking trio Falandi sees at the cemetery adds to the tension – are they the ones? And, if so, WHAT are they?
The tension cranks up a notch with the brief meeting of the pamphlet-pushers, and then the transformation of the bad boys into dragons. I think I’d probably react much like Falandi after seeing that – feeling that I’d gone a little batty! Great descriptions and realistic storytelling.
You end off with an impressive hook, to boot: now the three dark boys are appearing and threatening her other family members, and she’s received a summons to help in the struggle against them….
Great work – you’ll be on my watch list until I’m able to take another look, which I hope won’t be too far off!